(This is our life now)
Alright, chat. WpE here. We’re doing something stupid soon. Wonderfully, beautifully stupid.
I need to tell you about the artifact sitting on my shelf. It’s not a collectible. It’s not a trophy. It’s a sealed jigsaw puzzle, still in its plastic bag, that has been with me for roughly 15 to 20 years.
Its origin story? It was a gift. Mailed to me with love (and likely a smirk) from a friend in Tennessee, USA.
The note probably said something like, “Thought you’d enjoy this! (tbh I don’t remember). And what he truly meant was, “I am injecting a future, low-grade crisis directly into your life.”
The era of procrastination ends on stream. The puzzle is getting opened.
The “Next-ish” Stream Plan (A Series of Unfortunate Events)
This isn’t a one-and-done. This is a saga. A multi-stream descent into madness. We’re cracking the seal on this ancient relic, dumping out all [X] pieces, and seeing what my friend from the mid-2000s thought would “keep me busy.”
But a peaceful, mindful build? With this community? Don’t be naive.
To make this the interactive chaos we deserve, I am instituting one rule. The only rule that matters:
The Great Reset Rule:
If we hit 25 gifted / subs at any point, the puzzle is instantly reset.
Every connected piece is ripped apart. Every sorted pile is violently recombined. We go back to a square one of pure, undifferentiated cardboard agony.
// total 25, 50, 75 etc
I am handing you the detonator. You get to decide when my progress evaporates.
Why Are We Doing This? Let Me Count the Ways:
- I owe my friend this. Even if the completed picture I finally sent him is a testament to my mental deterioration.
- How long can a grown adult stare at subtly different shades of puzzle pieces before his eyes glaze over? How many resets before the cheerful facade cracks and I start muttering threats to inanimate objects? We’re going to find out.
- Let’s be crystal clear: I will not lose my mind. I will not get cranky. When you hit that reset after I’ve spent 5 minutes on finding the corner pieces, I smile, as nothing can ruin my mood of making this wonderful jigsaw puzzle. That’s not a bug; it’s the main feature.
Consider this a behavioral study. You are the observers. My mission is to prove that a human soul can’t be crushed by cardboard. Data collection starts now.
So, are you in? Will you help me sort edges? Or will you eagerly pool your resources to hit that 25 gift goal once in a while?
Let’s finally open this 2 decade old package. Let’s discover the cheesy, probably dated picture together. And let’s find out how many times you can make me cry inside before I short-circuit.
It’s been waiting 20 years. A few more resets won’t hurt.
See you there!
– WpE
